Toxic Relationships Can Destroy Families

Are you constantly at war with members of your family? Do you try to avoid family gatherings? Are you unwilling to engage in discussions with certain family members? You may be in a toxic family relationship if you answered “yes” to any of these questions. 

Toxic family relationships are a danger to one’s mental health because many people don’t realize they’re in one, and they accept the constant negativity and abusive behavior. They may think that toxicity is a normal aspect of family life and that every family has it. They have been trapped in a toxic family dynamic since childhood, leaving them unfamiliar with any other kind of family relationship.

The toxicity of their home life may contribute to self-esteem issues, leaving them lacking confidence in their ability to succeed.

Children in the center of a toxic family can also be affected severely. It can cause problems at school and teach them unhealthy ways to interact with their friends.

Identifying Toxicity in The Home

Many people don’t realize the extent of mental health damage these toxic family relationships can cause. It can impact the way you treat other people in school or colleagues in the workplace and further isolate you socially. Perhaps the greatest danger is assuming these types of relationships are expected, and you continue the toxicity when you start to raise your own family.

If you’re experiencing any of the following on an ongoing basis in your interactions with family members, you should take steps to effectively change the way you deal with family causing the problems. The telltale signs of toxic family relationships include:

Undue Criticism

Facing undue criticism for every triumph or success in your life by a family member is a sign of pettiness and jealousy. You should feel good about your successes and not have to defend them.

Constant Blaming

Constant blaming by a family member is a sign of insecurity and not taking responsibility for one’s actions or duties. It can also be a call for attention.

Abusive Behavior

Repeated abusive behavior may be the most apparent form of toxicity in a family relationship and is frequently the deciding factor in seeking professional help.

Favoritism

Favoritism can be a misguided defense mechanism. The person may not be favoring a specific person per se. They may simply be sending a message of their unhappiness with other family members.

Withholding Affection

Affection should never be used as a bargaining chip or a tool. Doing so can lead to a lack of trust and a harmful sense of rejection or insecurity.

Refusal to Listen

A refusal to listen or discuss the situation further can be an indication that the person is becoming defensive and may be stressed out by the situation.

Habitual Lying

Habitual lying to family members can indicate underlying self-esteem issues, a need for control, or be a symptom of an antisocial personality disorder (APD).

Steps to Take

If you realize that you’re in a toxic family relationship that’s affecting your mental health and your life and productivity in the outside world, there are some positive steps you can take.

Build a Support System Inside and Outside the Family

If you can identify the person in your family who is causing the toxicity, it’s likely that other family members and people close to the family can as well. You can build a support group that stands by you when you deal with the person causing problems.

Limit Contact with Toxic Family Members

Simply limiting the amount of time you spend around toxic family members can do wonders for your mental health. If the toxic person asks about your frequent absences, be honest and tell them it’s because of their behavior. They may take it upon themselves to effect a change.

Set Boundaries

Clearly define the behaviors that you won’t accept, communicate the boundaries to the toxic individual and stick to your boundaries. Being consistent in enforcing your boundaries may cause the person to change slowly.

Consider Cutting Ties as a Last Resort

If your mental well-being is deeply affected by a toxic family relationship, it may be helpful to set healthy boundaries. In some cases, taking a temporary or permanent step back can provide the space needed for healing and inner peace. However, don’t decide during the heat of an argument. The decision can affect the entire family. Inform the other supportive family members of your decision prior to informing the toxic family member and taking the drastic step.

Seek Professional Help

Everyone needs the love and support of a family, but no one deserves to live in a toxic family. Bangkok Mental Health Hospital (BMHH) has mental health professionals offering mental health treatment specializing in family dynamics. We can help you develop coping mechanisms and teach you how to set healthy boundaries.

If you are in a toxic family relationship that’s affecting your mental health, please get in touch with BMHH and make an appointment with us today.