Communicating with Individuals Experiencing Depression: Effective and Ineffective Approaches

Ineffective Communication Strategies:

1. “Why worry? It’s not that stressful.”

Individuals’ perceptions and emotional reactions vary. What may seem insignificant to one person could be a significant source of distress for another.

2. “Why don’t you go on a meditation retreat?”

While meditation can be beneficial for some, it may not be suitable for everyone. If you have a close relationship with the individual and know they are open to such practices, you can gently suggest it.

3. “Why are you seeing a doctor? Why are you taking medication? Just fix yourself mentally.”

Seeking professional help indicates an individual’s inability to manage their condition independently. Instead of criticizing, ask them about their experiences with therapy or medication.

4. “Many people are worse off than you.”

Comparing individuals to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-blame, exacerbating their distress.

5. “You wouldn’t be like this if you had done things differently back then.”

Blaming the individual for their current state can amplify their self-criticism and negative thought patterns.

6. Telling them to do things you think would make them feel better.

Each individual’s beliefs and contexts differ. Our perceived solutions may not resonate with them. Unsolicited advice can make them feel misunderstood and discourage further communication.

7. “You need to let go and forgive.”

Letting go is not an easy process. Such advice can make them feel misunderstood and ashamed for their inability to forgive or let go.

8. “Don’t think about it.”

Individuals with depression often experience intrusive thoughts and find it difficult to control their emotions. Telling them not to think is counterproductive and can increase their distress.

9. “You need to think positively.”

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) gradually helps individuals replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This process requires time and guidance from a therapist. Forcing positive thinking can worsen their distress.

Effective Communication Strategies:

1. “Would you like to talk about this? I’m here to listen.”

Even if you don’t fully understand their situation, offer your support and listen attentively without judgment. Let them know they are not alone and can express their feelings openly.

2. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

This open-ended question allows them to express their needs. Sometimes, they may simply need a listening ear. If they request assistance, offer your support within your capabilities.

3. “It must be difficult for you. What would you like to do about it?”

Acknowledge their struggles and express your willingness to help them find solutions.

4. “Would you like to take a break? Go somewhere quiet and relax? Or would you like to go for a walk or get a coffee?”

If they are overwhelmed and unable to focus, help them divert their attention to simple activities they can engage in immediately.

5. “We’re here for you.”

Reassure them of your unwavering support and presence in their lives.

6. “Would you like my advice, or would you rather just talk?”

If you have suggestions, offer them but give them the autonomy to decide whether they want to hear them. Avoid imposing your beliefs, as individuals have varying perspectives. If they do seek your advice and encounter challenges, offer further support by identifying obstacles and exploring solutions together.

7. “I brought you some snacks.”

If you’re unsure of what to say but want to show your care, offer small acts of kindness, such as food, drinks, or assistance with household chores.

8. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Express gratitude for their trust in sharing their experiences and commend their courage in opening up to you.

Remember: Effective communication with individuals experiencing depression requires empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen without judgment. By employing these strategies, you can provide valuable support and encourage them to seek professional help if needed.

Nattapach Lamliangpon, M.D.
Adult Psychiatrist